I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
