I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
