Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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