when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
