just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just had sex bonerless
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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