She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize