I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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