"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
