Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
