I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We have started to decorate penises.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
