I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Drunk is not a location!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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