just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
