i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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