I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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