Porn is love you can see.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
