Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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