If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
