You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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