Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
