I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
