id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She bit a glass in half.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
