who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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