Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
