ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
