I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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