he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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