It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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