I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
