One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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