Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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