You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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