i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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