Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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