I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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