i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
