I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A bitchslap is in order.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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