He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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