I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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