Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
