What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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