if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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