I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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