when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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