I want to make a zoo with you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
