South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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