I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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