I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
