oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
