wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
