Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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