i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This beer is not sobering me up at all
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
