I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
