My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize