man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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