there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
