I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
