Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that's an acceptable place to lick
this just has baby written all over it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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