you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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