Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
