I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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