Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
