Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
