let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
